everybodys got a water buffalo
stop stop right this instant what do you think youre doing
you cant say everyones got a water buffalo everyone does not have a water buffalo we’re going to get nasty letters saying wheres my water buffalo why dont i have a water buffalo and are you prepared to deal with that i dont think so stop being so silly
if you didnt read it in his voice youre lying
If I was in Divination at Hogwarts sitting with the person I like I’d be interpreting their tea leaves like “woAH it looks like you’re gonna be in a relationship soon??? With…the person sitting across from you??? Haha how oddly specific right”
But seriously do you ever think that all those who died in the battle of Hogwarts probably went on the chocolate frogs’ cards . And Teddy opening one before going on the train to Hogwarts and seeing his parents smiling at him, so they were actually there to see him off on his first year.
Today my history professor, a rumpled, pot-bellied guy in his mid thirties, walked into class looking all excited, which made the rest of us nervous, because he’s known for pop quizzes. He took a deep breath and said, “I have been waiting for this moment my entire teaching career. So please, pull out your textbooks and…” in a British accent, glowering at us all ferociously, “TURN TO PAGE THREE HUNDRED AND NINETY FOUR.”
We. All. DIED.
I AM COMPLETELY SERIOUS.